LEXINGTON, Ky. (LEX 18) — Things at Shelby's Speed and Kustom are always busy. Mark Cain started restoring cars after his son Shelby took his own life at 23.
He says this was his son's dream. Now, Cain works to spread awareness about suicide prevention through his non-profit Shelby's Way. Cain says, "I used to say Shelby wore his heart on his sleeve but I’ve come to find out over the years now that some people wear the heart much closer to the heart. And that was Shelby."
Cain lost Shelby on December 15, 2009, just before the holidays. Data from the CDC doesn't show that more suicides happen around this time of year but Cain says it can still be a tough time of year for families.
"I mean you hear 'I’m Coming Home for Christmas' and you tear up a little bit. So, if just a song will make you emotional just imagine what you're feeling on a day-to-day basis if there's things you're struggling with and it's on your mind,” says Cain.
From 2021 to 2022, CDC data shows that overall suicides increased nearly 3%. It shows that men and people between the ages of 25 and 44 have died by suicide more often. Dr. Clarissa Belle is a licensed psychologist and the owner of Higher Horizons.
She explains the first steps are normalizing certain emotional/behavioral difficulties and starting conversations early. Dr. Belle suggests, "Create a culture in your home where you're open to discuss how you're feeling, open to discussing when you have some difficulties and we practice doing those things before situations get too intense."
Dr. Belle says creating a culture and having a safe space to talk can make a big difference. She says, "We check in with each other and even if I don't understand what you're going through I learn to empathize and I simply ask."
Cain wants people to treat mental health disorders like any other disease and to know it's preventable. He says, "Shelby reached out to me...not to me once to his mother and once to his brother, two times that he was gonna kill himself. Suicide wasn't in my vocabulary, mental health wasn't. And I said that was the silliest thing I ever heard.... So, I carry that load, but with that I can help others, other parents, and husbands, and wives to communicate to their family members you know."