LEXINGTON, Ky. (LEX 18) — Greenhouse 17's executive director, Darlene Thomas, explains that around this time of year, there is usually an escalation of reports and people reaching out for help who are in domestic violence situations.
Thomas says, "Our experience has been that those who do harm have a tendency to purposefully ruin holidays. So, things that you're supposed to celebrate end up being very stressful on those families."
She says during this time of year, it's important to check on those around you including family, friends, neighbors, and anyone that may need help. If you're in a domestic violence situation, she says it is important to trust yourself.
Thomas says, "For those that are experiencing that, it’s pretty common for most people trying to keep the peace, to keep things calm, to try to get through the holidays for themselves and their children. And I have to also say you need to trust yourself, trust your gut and your instinct."
Data from a 2015 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence survey says about 1 in 4 women, and 1 in 10 men experienced sexual violence, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner and reported an IPV-related impact during their lifetime. The World Health Organization released a report showing how intimate partner violence can lead to physical trauma, psychological trauma and stress, and fear and control. Greenhouse 17 says it's important to stay prepared.
"So, at any given time that they decide that there's not gonna be peace in that home, it won’t matter what the survivor or the children have done. So, the best way to take care of yourself is just be prepared for anything and to know your safety plan, or an escape plan if necessary. At least you'll know that you're thinking about next steps, should things escalate,” says Thomas.
She says having these conversations out loud, and having a plan for yourself and kids can be a powerful start. It makes things real.
"Talking about it, externalizing what's happening, at least to people that understand the issue can really kind of relieve you from this sense of blame, that somehow, it's my fault or that I can fix it and I can make it better. It can start to remove that weight that survivors have,” says Thomas.
