FRANFORT, Ky. (LEX 18) — Darlene Thomas is continuing the work she essentially signed up to do as a kid.
“I was 12 or 13 when I saw a man abuse a woman, horribly. It was the middle of a muddy field and he drug her down this muddy field,” Thomas recalled.
But Thomas, who now serves as Executive Director for Greenhouse 17, a domestic violence survivors support organization, said that witnessing the abuse that day wasn’t even the worst of what she saw.
“I was only a kid, 12 or 13, but there were 50 to 100 other people standing around who did nothing,” Thomas explained of her reason for devoting her professional life to helping abuse victims. “I never wanted to feel that powerless again,” she continued.
Thomas and several other women who work to support victims were invited to the Capitol today where Governor Andy Beshear proclaimed October to be “Domestic Violence Awareness Month.” In Mr. Beshear’s former role as Attorney General, he saw some of the worst crimes imaginable. In his current role as Governor, husband, and father, he’s working toward making improvements in the area of domestic abuse. Since taking office, he’s enacted stronger penalties for those who are convicted of sexual abuse and violent domestic crimes.
“Nearly 1 out of 2 Kentucky women will go through some kind of sexual violence or domestic violence in their lifetime. That is unacceptable,” he said.
And despite the robust statistics, those are only the victims we know about. So many others suffer in silence. Many haven’t yet come forward, or simply have no way of escaping.
“Part of acknowledging how this violence works is that it’s not all physical. It’s the emotional damage abusers can cause,” Mr. Beshear said while noting there are forms of mental and financial abuse that can be found as well.
Mrs. Thomas has seen and heard them all during a long career she has spent assisting victims.
“Jealousy, possessiveness, name-calling, put-downs, degrading behaviors, arguments over little things that make no sense,” she said.
Thomas said that all of those destructive behaviors can then, oftentimes, lead to the physical abuse. And, she points out, escaping such situations can be incredibly difficult.
“There’s many barriers. Financial barriers, emotional barriers. You may have children (with your abuser). Where do you go, how do you maintain, how will you get to work, pay the bills? There’s just so many things to think about, and then you top that with (worrying about) what your safety will look like if you leave,” Thomas explained.
Those are the many issues Thomas and the other representatives who came to the Capitol on Monday are working to help victims manage.
Thomas is hopeful for better days ahead. She said times were different back when she watched that woman being abused on a muddy field. Back then, she said, most felt it was right to mind their own business when it came to family matters.
“I don’t think today that 50 to 100 people would stand around and watch,” she said. “So that’s definitely been positive change.”
