LEXINGTON, Ky. (LEX 18) — Overspending, overwhelmed, or just over it? If you’re on edge heading into the holidays, you’re not alone.
According to the American Psychological Association, 89% of U.S. adults report an increase in stress levels during the holiday season.
While feelings of stress may be unavoidable, Lexington therapist Daisy Brown offers some advice.
For starters, “Don’t go into debt,” said Brown, who owns Champion Therapy Center.
Financial concerns are most often cited as the biggest holiday stressor. To which Brown said, “Know that we are not looking for perfection. You are enough for the holidays.”
Financial stress is just one piece of the pie. When it comes to spending time with relatives who may have different views or ways of operating, Brown often advises her clients to change the topic.
“That’s when we teach them how to put up boundaries. This isn’t the time to talk about all the things that have gone wrong in the family,” said Brown, adding, “When heavy subjects come up, I say, 'Begin to talk about the mac 'n cheese, and go ahead and change the subject that way you evade subjects that trigger you.”
Brown recommends tabling the controversial topics for another time.
“So, if it's politics, say, ‘We're not gonna talk politics this Thanksgiving, you wanna know why? Because we're just thankful that we're here.'”
Whoever gets the task of hosting a holiday likely experiences added stress, but Brown says it's a weight the whole family can carry.
Brown reminds you to check in with your host, “Can I help you peel the potatoes? Can I help you with this? It doesn't have to be perfect, us being together is perfect.”
The holidays also remind us of those who aren’t sitting at the table. If you’re grieving this season, Brown emphasizes that it’s okay not to be okay.
“Give yourself space to grieve, give yourself space to cry and miss them, then also think about their life. Would they want you to stay in bed all day?”
When the season’s stressors show up at the family gathering, Brown said in sum, “It's one day. Thanksgiving is one day, Christmas is one day. Do you really want your whole life, your whole world to implode over one day? Live that 24 hours and move on to the next 24 hours, but don't let that one day consume your whole world."
