*Content warning: The following article discusses the topic of suicide.
September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month.
Trial lawyer Bruce Simpson is in his 70s and has been dealing with mental health illness since childhood.
"I really had low self-esteem, low self-worth by the time I was 10 years old," Simpson said.
Over time, those thoughts festered in his mind that would eventually lead to thoughts of suicide. To the point, Simpson was making a plan, which is not uncommon. According to the CDC, more than 3.8 million people fall into this pattern yearly.
"If something bad ever happens to me," Simpson said. "Enough to push me over the edge. I was ready."
Simpson has been a lawyer for over 40 years. He takes pride in helping people. When an article came out, he realized he had done something for the first time in his career.
"When I read the opinion. The court noted that I didn't file a brief in the case," Simpson said. "What do you mean? Of course, I filed a brief; I won the case."
That's when he realized he had hurt his client for the first time.
Hurting his client was too much for him to bear. He thought his career was over, and thoughts of disappointing his family consumed him.
"They would not be proud of me anymore. They wouldn't respect me like they used to, " he said. "This was all my twisted thinking at the time. I just determined that I was better off being dead. There was no doubt about it."
In January of 2023, Simpson tried to take his own life, but the gun misfired. Shortly after, he went to Eastern State Hospital, where his road to recovery began.
Simpson's negative opinion of therapy quickly changed, and now he is an advocate.
"No one could of been more negative than me. I can't imagine anybody being more negative," he said. "You can be help. You may have to change therapist. You may have to change medication. That's part of the treatment, but you don't have to suffer in silence and be miserable."
Simpson is working hard to keep moving forward in his mental health journey but knows the impact of his past actions will linger within his family.
"It's devastating, and that ought to be an incentive enough alone to say woah woah woah, wait a minute," he said. "I don't want to hurt them, but when you are in that mindset of what's going on in your brain full of suicide. You're not thinking about that. You can't. I couldn't."
Now, he says he is thinking more clearly at 74 than he did when he was younger, a result of getting help and improving his mental health. He hopes his story can inspire others to do the same.
If you need mental health help, call the crisis hotline at 988. For more information, go to newvista.org or namilexington.org.
